u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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