whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
