Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
