it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
You work out of a Hotel?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
