this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
