Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Randomize
