Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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