the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
