Define "chronic" masturbator.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
