What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You're a waste of cheezeits
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
