i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
