Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
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