OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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