if you like me you must not know who I am
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
