I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
