The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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