I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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