it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
