Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
