What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
