I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
