At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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