I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
