Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
