he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
