you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
