so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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