His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
my vag is so smooth its legendary
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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