I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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