carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Houston, we have a blender
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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