I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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