Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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