would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
