New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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