um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
