yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
True strength comes from lack of pants
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
