So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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