im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
