i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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