The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
