Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
