Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
