OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
