The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
