I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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