fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
