Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
