Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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