Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
