The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
