i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
