I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
