Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
