Soap is not a condiment
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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