i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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